They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
