awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
