I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just want to make out with him forever
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
