We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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