i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
