There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
