how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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