Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
