i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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