I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Welp...herpes.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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