fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
