Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
