I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
