my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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