What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
