At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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