i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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