he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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