So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
