Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
