I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
