And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
