i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
