Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Your tits are I can't wait for
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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