she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
