she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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