I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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