there's paper in my vomit.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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