i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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