I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
this is an emotional support booty call
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
