We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
