I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
