it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
