yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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