Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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