i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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