Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Text me some of your sweat
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
