wrigley field is MILF paradise
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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