went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
