And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
