my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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