I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I wish there were birth control emojis
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
