I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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