he puts the penis in happiness.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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