Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We're too hungover to prance.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
