i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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