plz talk dirty to me
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
