The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
