I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
