a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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