the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
