Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
