Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
